


The Prince Under Mount Tain

by SandrC



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25132921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: The prince under Mount Tain stole from the gods.The prince under Mount Tain offended the fae.The prince under Mount Tain made a deal with the devil.And the Udaloli clan disappeared and a monster stole their home.(Or so the story goes.)
Relationships: Yashee Bordun & Raz'ul Daz'ulson & Randy Greentrees
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	The Prince Under Mount Tain

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hi, hello. It's me, chaboi, who has written only one BomBARDed fic and has been aggressively trying to write this goddamn multichap fic for the longest fucking time. I have aggressively tried to work on it for a long long long long time. And now I have an chapter done.
> 
> I have all of this completely plotted out. Three arcs, god knows how many chapters, platonic party bonding.
> 
> Hope you like what I have planned. Fuck if I know when the next chapter is gonna go up because of the d20 fic exchange.
> 
> Shoutout to Chaos Sauce Official Fanclub Discord for bullying me into finishing this. Would've liked to have it done BEFORE the episode came out but ehh...
> 
> Hope yall like it. :>

Yashe'rak Bordun—Yashee to her friends—was born the daughter of a barbarian and a bard. She had always been told she resembled her mother more than her father—not just her skin and her stance but her temper and the timber of her voice—but it was undeniable that she shared her father's voracious desire for stories. And as such, it was to no one's surprise when she decided to leave the safety of his caravan to seek her own song.

It was a rite of passage for any aspiring bard to seek out something interesting and write a song about it. Even now, in the days when adventurers had spelunked the deepest caverns and climbed the tallest mountains, there was always a story _somewhere_ that _someone_ hadn't heard and it was the job of a bard to turn it into something palatable. So she bid her father, Orfell, farewell, gathered her things up, and headed off towards the Dragonspire Mountains in search of the story that had caught her attention.

The legend of the Prince Under Mount Tain.

Most people avoided the Dragonspire Mountains because of that legend but no one had any consistent information. The similarities were few and far between. Supposedly, the Prince Under Mount Tain was the heir of the Udaloli clan, the dwarves who had built their keep nestled in the Dragonspire Mountains and mined out gold and gems to supply the rest of Beatzhart. After that it gets a _bit_ fuzzy.

 _Some_ people say that the youngest prince stole from the gods and, in retaliation, they cursed the whole clan and the land they called their own. _Others_ are convinced that the youngest prince offended a high fae, that took the clan into the Faewild as payment for the slight. _Even more_ are certain that the youngest prince, in a fit of jealous rage, sold his soul to a greater devil for the crown and it backfired.

Nonetheless, the consensus was that _something_ happened and now something terrible lived under the Dragonspine Mountains. No one that ever went looking for what was left of the Udaloli clan and their home ever returned.

And Yashee was going to be the first.

A couple weeks into her journey—which was _still_ another week or so long, but she was smart and hardy and had packed rations for _almost_ a month of travel—Yashee found herself lounging against a tree when a rustling caught her ears. Something from the south-southeast.

Cautiously, she snagged her mallets and stood up. Ears fanned wide to pinpoint the sound, she called out, "Hello?"

Again, a rustling, _closer_.

"If you're here to try and take me on, you _might_ want to reconsider!" She tilted her head and tried to locate the movement of whatever was making that noise. "I won't fight unless I _have_ to!" It had been more south the second time.

The grove she was in fell silent. _Eerily so._ Still, she kept her mallets up and ears peeled. No sense in relaxing early.

Thankfully she didn't, as a small form dashed into the clearing and right into Yashee's chest. She let out a soft " _oof_ " as the figure fell over, feet kicking about as they tried to right themself. Feeling a little bad for them, she picked them up and set them on their feet.

The person who had run into her was a small halfling in dark clothing, a portable organ on their back, and a strange mask half hanging off their head. They had scruffy ruddy hair that was pulled back in a low tuft-like ponytail and a scar that crossed the right side of their face, up their jaw and right across the bridge of their nose. As Yashee set them back on their feet, they hunkered down and gripped at a simple dagger in their hand.

"Sorry for impeding your jog there, dude." Yashee said, using one of her mallets to rub her head in embarrassment. "You spooked me with your running about in the underbrush."

"It's, uh, _fine_ , I guess." The halfling kept looking back and forth, like they were expecting something to happen. "Look, _uh_ , lady—"

" _Yashee_ ," she supplied.

"Yeah. _Whatever_. Look, I've got to get going. I have places to be and, as much as I would _love_ to just have a chitchat about how chill these woods are, I. Don't. _Have. **Time.**_ " The halfling started edging towards the woods as they spoke, eyes wildly scouting the forest behind him.

Yashee watched the halfling try and escape around her and her eyes were caught by the mask half on his head. Something about it was _familiar_ ; something about the simple design of two circular eyes and a small c-shaped nose on a pale ivory base. And then it clicked.

" _Nowhere Man!_ "

The halfling froze, ears quivering up and eyes panicked and wide. Their grip on the dagger tightened and they turned their shaking gaze upwards to Yashee.

They gave her an unconvincing grin, all teeth, more animalistic than reassuring. "What do you mean?"

" _The mask._ That's, _uh_ , that's a Nowhere Man thing, _isn't it_?" Yashee pressed. Once upon a time, one of the people her dad traveled with had said that she had no filter and too much curiosity. They weren't wrong. "You run afoul of one?"

The Nowhere Men were penny dreadful fodder. Cheap horror that had a basis in truth but, insofar as the knowledge went, they were the best of the rogues. Never caught, prime assassins and lightfingers, and if you met them _you didn't live to tell the tale_

And here was someone who _might_ be running from them.

The halfling seemed to realize the mask was still on their head, snatched it off, and threw it like a discus. They were shaking, ears erect and quivering, and their breathing was coming in sharp jagged gasps. After a moment, they looked back up at Yashee and gave another vaguely feral grimace. "You _could_ say that."

" _Wow!_ That's impressive! No one has ever seen them and lived! You've got the stuff for a _really_ good song in you!" Yashee was legitimately excited. Whether it was the idea of a story about the actual Nowhere Men _or_ that she met someone who has seen something that cool was unclear and, frankly, it didn't matter. This halfling was something special!

This seemed to set the halfling aback. They blinked, once, twice, and then gave Yashee what could be the most sincere smile she had seen from them. It was shaky and quirked up on the side of his face above their scar. "Yeah, _sure_ , I'm impressive. Point being—" again, they looked about, "—I have places to be and, as I can gather from your garb and manner, you're the type to offer protection for coin?"

Confused, Yashee took a moment to roll their offer around in her head. Big and strong, Yashee was no stranger to people trying to hire her as a bodyguard but, considering the circumstances—?

"I... _can_ protect you," she said, each word staccato and careful, "but I have somewhere _I'm_ headed so... _you'd_ be accompanying _me_. As much as I'd like to pick your brain for stuff on the Nowhere Men, I have my own quest so..."

She could see by the way they were looking between the forest and herself that they were considering their options. Traveling in a caravan makes for learning various races' tells and halflings were harder to read than most, but the way their ears were stock-still and the way their toes curled into the loam and leaves made her think they were genuinely worried about something. _Probably_ the Nowhere Men.

After a long couple beats that Yashee used to pick her pack back up and wheel about to head on her way, the halfling had made up their mind. One of their ears flicked back into a forward position—as if they had been listening to something behind them—but their eyes were trained intently on her face. They nodded at her, "Alright. Lead the way." And then, as an afterthought, "And you can call me Randy."

"Come along, Randy! We have a long trek ahead of us and the sun is getting a little high." Yashee nodded her head up the path she was on. "Let's make tracks then, travel buddy!"

* * *

Randy, Yashee found out, was a _halfway_ decent companion and, despite the strange look of the instrument he carried, a rather accomplished organist. He _also_ was a mischievous bastard of a guy and, when he felt like talking, wouldn't shut up, which was fine by her standards. It was like white noise, a soothing and steady flow of sound for her normally quiet travel.

"Okay so like, _full disclosure_ , I didn't necessarily _mean_ to set the barn on fire, but the goblin startled the cow who knocked over the lantern, and next thing I know, the whole farmland is ablaze! So I did what any smart person would do and hoofed it!"

They had made some decent progress over the last few days and, while Randy deterred progress once or twice with a poorly-timed prank that had townsfolk up their collective asses, Yashee could easily eyeball the Dragonspire Mountains at about two days out. From there it was a quick search for Mount Tain and then—?

_Profit?_

She wasn't sure past that point.

"Days later, turns out that those farmers were actually killing folks and using the pigs to get rid of the evidence and the fire prevented the porkers from cronching down on a corpse or two. Trial made front page and I was fine and dandy!" Randy finished his story and cracked his fingers with the flourish she had come to read as cocksure and pleased with himself.

"That is _wild_ ," Yashee nodded at him. "So what happened to the farmers?"

He shrugged, " _Dunno_. Wasn't in town for it. Didn't even stick around long enough for the paper to reach me."

"Bet I know _someone_ who has a song about that." She hummed absently.

They walked a bit longer in silence before Randy spoke up again. "So, remind me again _why_ you decided to go hunting after the Prince Under Mount Tain?"

" _Well_ ," why _did_ she decide to chase the Prince Under Mount Tain? "So being a bard is about history and storytelling, _right_? And _sure_ , any bard can just play a lullaby from their hometown and call it a day but there's something special about finding a story and making a song for it. Making it _your_ song, yanno?"

" _Mmhmm?_ "

"And it's not like I _couldn't_ just find something closer, like something about my mom's tribe or something, but there was something— _is_ something—about the Udaloli clan and the lost prince that just seems... _sad?_ " She was really kinda unsure exactly the whole shape of it though. She shrugged and Randy let out a soft hum.

"Can't say I relate but...you do _you_ , I guess?" They fell back into comfortable silence again, letting the road continue to take them onward. Then Randy broke it again. "So what do you plan to do with yourself _afterward_?"

Yashee opened her mouth, found herself at a momentary loss for words, then closed it again. What _did_ she plan on doing? Find the Prince Under Mount Tain, get his story for her song, spread said song as her legacy, be a bard? " _Probably_ , after I get what I'm looking for, go back to traveling with my dad? Do the bard thing? Be chill?" She shrugged.

Randy snickered. "Didn't think that far?"

"Not really. Planning is not really my strong suit."

"Could tell." His ribbing is snarky but kind. The type of sarcasm he used is padded and warm. It doesn't hurt unless he _wants_ it to—and she's had the misfortune of seeing him use it to hurt. "Thankfully for _you_ : it's not _mine_ either. So we're both up shit creek without a paddle!"

"But we have each other!" Yashee grinned at him, waggling her eyebrows aggressively.

" _Blech._ Eugh. _Feelings._ Keep them in your lane." Their laughter is comfortable and homey. It was nice to not be alone.

* * *

Despite the sheer monotony of travel—something Randy _continued_ to complain about, _days_ after him joining up with Yashee—there was a small comfort the two found in routine. Camp was easily put up by Yashee, Randy foraged for firewood and extra trappings for their plain rations, and then the night was passed with songs and stories. Over time they even learned more about each other.

Randy learned that Yashee's dad ran some pretty choice grifts with her uncle—though Yashee seemed mostly unaware that they even were cons until Randy pointed out that they _were_ cons to her. Yashee learned that Randy had a wizard in him, in the _literal_ sense—though the exact nature of Eddie was left vague and she had the kindness to not push. Yashee learned that Randy knew a lot of small hymns to Altonia but didn't exactly remember _where_ he learned them. Randy learned Yashee liked rousing dwarven folk songs for their heavy percussive lean.

By the time the mountains were looming over them—larger than life and twice as ominous—they could consider each other fine friends. Maybe even _best_ friends, if you asked Yashee.

(Not if you asked Randy, though. He kept his emotions close to his chest and under lock and key. She was _a_ friend. _Period_. It didn't bother Yashee though. She knew he cared in his own way.)

The base of the Dragonspire Mountains was... _unremarkable_. "I mean," Randy said, scratching the back of his neck as he stared at the unassuming mountain, "I would've expected something more... _spooky_? Ominous. Something to match the...vibe, _yanno_?" He gestured with one hand and shrugged.

Yashee nodded, "That's fair. But also like, I dunno, isn't it _more_ interesting to find nothing on the surface?"

"Nothing on the surface can mean a whole lot. Would prefer a crypt or ruins. Not some...mountain."

"I mean, this _is_ one of several mountains in the Dragonspire range. I just...think _this_ is Mount Tain."

" _You_ ** _think?_** " His incredulous tone rubbed rough against her fraying nerves. "What kind of broker sold you _that_ info? They took you for it, is all _I'm_ saying!"

" _My uncle_ told me how to find Mount Tain." Her tone was soft and clipped, Randy drew back a bit, surprised at the bite. "This is just a quick test. Supposed to make sure I'm right."

"What _kind_ of test?" Randy tilted his head a little, eyes tracing the shape of the horizon. Like the name implied, the Dragonspire Mountains cut a ridge across the sky like the back spines of a large dragon.

"Old songs say the grand earth dragon became the Dragonspire Mountains, right?"

Randy gave it a thought and then nodded. "Yeah, I've heard that one. _Ancient beast of earthen teeth, tall as heaven, twice in length, laid to rest around the world, corpse devouring thief._ " The tune was simple, an old folk tale, and there had been a lot of variations, but that was the one most people knew.

" _Maw held wide devours all, gate of dark obsidian tall, snaggletooth the Mount Tain marking ancient dwarven halls._ " Yashee sang the next verse, her eyes tracing the horizon as well. "Now it's _supposed_ to be like the entrance, right?"

"It's _a song_. It's older than _me_ , even." Randy wrinkled his nose. "What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"Bards make songs out of history. Every song has a reason and _that_ one is a clue." She stepped forward, pushing a large mass of foliage out of the way, and Randy followed behind her. "Mount Tain is the mouth of the Dragonspire Mountains. The teeth, right? And _there's_ the gate to the dwarven kingdom. The lost home of the Udaloli. It's not _just_ a song." She frowned, gnawing on her lower lip. "I _know_ it isn't."

"So what's the way to get in?" Randy ducked under the branches, keeping step with Yashee as she forged her way forward. "I mean, like, if _anyone_ can know about the entrance, what's stopping people from coming in. _Aside_ from the whole Prince thing, that is."

" _Uh_ ," Yashee gnawed on her lower lip for a second as she thought, pausing mid-step to mull it over, "Uncle Alfric said something about the key being the ocean? And time in quarters and...something else about like...three or more in unison, harmony?"

"Vague music riddle nonsense. _Got it._ " Randy skipped ahead of her and peered up at the horizon again to try and mark their position. "I think this is _about_ the mouth of the dragon? Did the dragon ever have a name? _You've_ probably heard more versions of that song than _I_ have, considering."

"I think...they _might_ have called it Bassom, once. I don't remember." Yashee traced the horizon with her finger and nodded. "Yeah I think we're close though." She pulled her mallets off her hip and drummed the air quickly, trying to find a tempo she liked. "You ready?"

"Ready how?" He looked up at her, confused.

"The riddle. Music nonsense, you said?"

" _Yeah?_ "

"Quarter time in the key of the ocean. It's 4/4 in C major. Three or more in harmony is a chord." Yashee nodded her head at the base of the closest mountain. "We gotta play. It's why no one has been able to get in yet. _Bards._ "

Randy's face pinched in confusion. Then the confusion was chased by realization and disgust. "Oh. _Yuck._ Bards."

"I don't hear a _no_?" Yashee smiled. He was already midway through pulling his organ off his back.

"I wasn't _saying_ no," he grumbled, "just complaining about wordplay."

"Glad I met you," Yashee said, tapping out a simple rhythm on the rock face for him to pick up. "I can't sing in chords and I've only got my mallets. Would've been locked out."

Randy rolled his eyes and picked out a quick series of chords. "Lucky you. Wrong place right time."

She picked up the melody and started humming, finding lyrics for their impromptu jam session. " _Right_ place, right time, really."

"If you say so."

Their song was...it was simple. Just a quick ditty about doors and hidden truths and a story trapped inside of a treasure chest buried underneath the earth. Still...something felt _right_ about the two of them performing together and, while Randy wouldn't ever admit it, he felt good being _con_ structive instead of _de_ structive. As the magic pulsed through the two of them, Yashee watched as a door formed in the rock face, the outline shaped by glowing white threads of a magic that felt older than anything she'd ever seen.

As soon as the song was over, the door was complete. Yashee stared at the intricate markings on the mountain she now _knew_ , without a doubt, was Mount Tain. She pressed her hand against it and felt the cold rock hum with a warm energy that felt like home.

"Well color me wrong," Randy had already snagged his organ up again and was standing next to Yashee, staring up at the door. The obsidian archway that lined the outside of the magic markings was easily twenty feet tall and, if neither of them knew better, they'd have said it was made by master craftsmen. But they had both watched it shimmer into existence only seconds before.

Yashee grabbed the groove on the left side of the large door and pulled, sliding the heavy entrance open. The yawning maw of Mount Tain lay before them. With a soft huff, Randy whistled a quick tune and four orbs of bright light darted around his head, some of them entering the hallway to provide light for them both. They both stood stock still for a long while before Randy let out a long sigh and stepped past the threshold.

" _C'mon_ , Yashee, you can't just chicken out now! Let's go!" He called back at her.

She stood at the doorway, frozen in place by a strange anxiety and sense of foreboding. Still, Randy's sharp call snapped her out of her stupor and she stepped into Mount Tain. As she did, the door closed behind them with a rumbling and grinding noise, and the two of them looked on as their only exit disappeared, becoming a solid rock wall again.

"...looks like we'll not be leaving any time soon." Randy was _far_ too calm for a situation like this. It helped temper Yashee's own nerves though.

" _Mmm_ ," is all she managed around the lump in her throat.

"Buck up. It can't get any worse!"

And then, as it is wont to do, things got worse.

From deep within the darkness of the halls of Udaloli, a hissing pea-soup mist began to fill the hallway, choking their lungs and obscuring their vision, and a raspy voice called out, sending shivers up their spines.

" **Who _dares_ trespass on my domain?**" The voice called out, low bass rumbles sending vibrations through their bones. " ** _Leave now_ , lest I _devour_ you for your insolence!**"

"I stand corrected," Randy noted, mouth pulled in a thin frown. His hand strayed to his daggers and the four orbs of light came back to orbit around his head in a tight halo. "It certainly _can_ get worse."


End file.
